


Connections

by szm



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Lydia and Stiles friendship, Very slight Derek/Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 12:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szm/pseuds/szm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia worries more than anyone realises, about many things. One of those things is what did Peter leave behind in her head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Connections

It takes a while for anyone to notice, even Stiles and he see more in Lydia than most (looks for more, everyone else is happy with the surface, Stiles always wanted more from her than that, it’s both flattering and terrifying all at once). 

But she smiles, and she looks as flawless as ever, make up to cover the dark circles and to put colour in her cheeks, clothes to hide when stress causes her to lose too much weight, or when comfort eating means she puts it on. Her parents are too caught up in their own drama, Scott and Alison likewise. Lydia knows that’s what loving someone does to you, makes you selfish and narrows your worldview to one other person. She loved Jackson and he only ever really loved himself, just like her parents a love so overwhelming that there really wasn’t room for Lydia at all. Besides Jackson has run away, left her here alone with the monsters (she knows that isn’t fair, that it was more complicated than that, but she feels selfish and small right now).

The worst part isn’t that none of her friends see through her act. It hurts, but she realises that she only has herself to blame for that. All the effort she puts into fooling them, how are they supposed to see how broken she is? What would they think of her if they did see? The worst part is that _Peter_ sees. Peter _knows_ he’s been inside her head, he knows exactly how deep the cracks go. She sees him all over town, always a little unsure of if he’s really there or if she’s dreaming again. He was inside her head, how does she know he didn’t leave something behind? Sometimes when she’s on the cusp of falling asleep she can feel a faint pull, like if she followed it she’d find him, a connection of sorts. Terrifying, of course that’s what it is. Being connected to someone as insane and dangerous as Peter Hale is the very definition of terrifying, but also in the dark on her own she can admit to finding it a little comforting too. What does that make her? How can she tell _anybody_ that?

**

It’s a Monday lunchtime when it comes to a head. Scott and Allison are trying to be _friends_. Lydia knows it won’t work, far too much between them for that, too much pain and love, and both real and imagined betrayal. But they _are_ trying, so Scott and Stiles join Lydia and Allison at the lunch table. It’s awkward and horrifying; very few topics are ‘safe’. Can’t mention families, or werewolves, or where Allison went with her Dad over the summer. No werewolves means it’s best not to bring up Deaton, so Scott can’t talk about work. Stiles tries to tell a story about his Dad that soon dissolves into something that happened on the edge of town last week that almost certainly involved Derek, if not the rest of his pack (Peter). Lydia takes pity on them and launches into some school based gossip that she barely cares about but is the kind of thing she’s expected to know. Stiles throws her a ‘I see what you did there’ look that she ignores. The awkward at the table is increased threefold when Isaac sits down, a large beaming smile for Scott, an only slightly smaller one for her and Stiles and a dark murderous look for Allison, timed so Scott misses it but Allison gets the full force. Boyd and Erica are back (according to Stiles), although not yet back at school. Allison stares down at her lunch and Scott looks confused, Isaac flinches, probably because Stiles has kicked him under the table, a move that is 100% in defence of Scott, not Allison. 

Lydia reached her limit for one lunchtime, she was just about to bail when Peter walked into the lunch hall with Coach Finstock. Suddenly she can’t move, she can feel her eyes widen. She hopes he’s really here, she prays because he can’t do this to her again. School has to be off-limits, this has to be the place where her shields are strongest. Because Lydia knows _this_ is where she’s judged most harshly. She can’t fall in front of her peer group again. She’s not sure if she’d recover this time. (She’s not sure she recovered last time, god knows a year ago she never would have been sat at _this_ table)

Now Stiles is looking at her concerned and Allison is saying her name softly, but Lydia can’t move, can only stare. Peter turns his head like he can feel her, catches her eye and nods in recognition and Lydia actually _whimpers_ which would be mortifying if she could think past the panic. Stiles says ‘oh shit’ under his breath and he must have noticed Peter too, it floods Lydia with relief, at least she’s not going crazy (again). The group moves without talking, just a look that passes between Scott and Stiles. Allison gathers her own bag and Lydia’s, Stiles cups her elbow and the two of them are leading her away. It’s a measure of how shaken she is that she lets them. Scott and Isaac are headed towards Peter, to waylay him, or find out what he’s doing here.

**

It’s two days after that when Stiles turns up at her house with his laptop, two heavy bags full of old looking books and a determined expression.

“What have they got into this time?” she asks instead of saying hello.

Stiles just shakes his head. “Not them, you. We’re going to do what we should have done before. We’re going to find out exactly what Peter did to you.”

Lydia feels cold all over, she doesn’t want this, doesn’t want to think about it. She is the queen of compartmentalisation, what she went through with Peter is locked tightly in a box next to how she feels about her parents and what she feels for Jackson. If she prises the lid off one box what does that do to the others? “Will that make you feel less guiltily?” she asks nastily, and it’s unfair to lay that at Stiles door, but she hurts and she just wants it all to go away. She wishes she could have run with Jackson.

“No,” said Stiles, as honest as she’s ever seen anyone. “And it won’t make anything better, but don’t you want to know? Don’t you _need_ too?” 

Lydia remembers when Stiles Mom was sick, and Stiles was a shadow of himself, always behind a medical textbook. Days when he didn’t even talk to Scott. Back then she hadn’t cared, she hadn’t even tried to help. “Why are you doing this?” she asked. “Why do you always do this?”

“Because you’re Lydia Martin,” replied Stiles simply, like that was enough. Maybe for him it was. She wondered if Scott ever felt like this. Like Stiles good opinion of you was a terrible weight to live with and yet she didn’t think it was something she ever willingly give up.

**

In movies research is dealt with in a few minutes and a montage set to music. In real life it takes months, and it’s hard. Full of dead ends and promising leads that only end in disappointment and arguments. But it was all worth it for this moment. 

Peter was giving money to the Lacrosse team. That’s why he’d been with Coach Finstock that day. Stiles spoke to Scott, who spoke to Derek, who banned Peter from the school grounds anytime Lydia could reasonably be expected to be there. It worked, after a fashion and for a while. But Peter never met a boundary he didn’t like to push and Derek didn’t want to kill his only remaining relative (again) so it was really only a matter of time before Peter showed up again. 

This time it was a lacrosse practice. Lydia and Allison were keeping Stiles company on the bench, this time because he had a legitimate injury, a sprained ankle gained while running from a rouge omega werewolf that Derek had then chased off his territory. Derek had carried Stiles out of the woods complaining all the time that Stiles should never have been there, Stiles bitching right back that Derek would never have even found the omega without him and could he please time his rescues to be a little less last minute in the future. The way they argued made her miss Jackson all the more. Mentioning that however would involve admitting she missed Jackson so she didn’t, she just allowed herself a smirk at their expense. 

She felt Peter arrive before she saw him, all the work she’d been putting into reading that odd connection at the back of her mind paying off. “Hello Peter,” she said loudly.

She thought she could feel Peter’s surprise but it was possible she was just imagining that. Scott, Isaac, and Boyd jogged over to the bench, and Peter came over to talk to Lydia. Lydia kept her face blank as she looked up at him, however she was sure Stiles at least was wearing an evil grin, if not Allison too. They’d been looking forward to this, Lydia felt a little more nervous about it.

“Hello Lydia,” replied Peter lightly. “Fancy seeing you here?”

“Derek told you to stay away,” said Scott darkly.

“Yeah,” added Stiles. “Bad dog, no biscuit.”

Peter turned his head to snarl at Stiles and Lydia focused on that spot inside her head and _pushed_. Peter took a shocked step back, like he’d been slapped. “What?” he asked looking at Lydia again. Lydia focused on not letting Peter see how much that had cost her and let Stiles talk for her. 

“Really Peter?” he said, more or less sticking to the script they had pre-agreed. “Did you really think binding your soul to hers would leave no lasting effects? Or did you just think they’d only go one way? You let her in, and now she totally has the run of your head. But hey, worse things in life to be than Lydia Martin’s bitch, right?”

Lydia _pushed_ at that spot again a little harder this time. Allison snuck an arm around her waist where Peter couldn’t see to support her. Peter fell to his knees with a cry. Lydia and Allison stood, Lydia gathering enough of her strength to toss her hair and walk away on her own. She heard Peter’s voice in her head as she left.

“Oh yes, very well played, my dear…”

Once she was out of sight with a wall to lean on she _pushed_ again. It was gratifying to hear Peter scream.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure about this one, my first proper go at writing Lydia.


End file.
